Among other things . . .

Another favorite

locusinquo — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 02:22:58 +0000

By e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                    i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Lost

locusinquo — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 01:37:55 +0000

I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. I don’t know if it is because I’m at such a crossroad in my life or if I am unsure as to the next step – in so many ways. This poem makes me feel a little better.

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day.  Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel.  None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch.  And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones.  And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

	-- Elizabeth Bishop

25 things about me. . . .

locusinquo — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 02:51:41 +0000

I hate going into a bathroom stall after someone has just exited — not just disdain for the temporal proximity of the use, but merely, the use itself.
I love carbohydrates — sugar, potatoes, pies, etc.
I love a long run or a good workout.
T.V. on DVD is better than most any movie.
Getting up in front of a courtroom scares me to death — but I do it every chance I get, to conquer my fear. Secretly, I think that it makes me stronger than my classmates who choose not to do so.
I think Barack Obama is pompous and dislike being unable to voice my politically based opinions for fear that my colleagues, friends, and die hard Obama-worshipers will assume that I am racist. I am anything but racist.
When I’m not reading or studying, reality television shows about family-dynamics are my favorite.
I’m trying to give up diet soda after a very long love affair with the stuff through undergrad and law school.
I try to fix people and things — to a fault.
I can’t help but give an occasional thought to what my ex-boyfriends are up to at any given time.
I have the best parents. EVER.
I worry that my sister will never find anything that she actually loves to do.
I worry. A lot. So much that my sorority sisters tell me to worry about world peace, so that my worries are less specific and cumbersome. I’m working on that . . .
I love snooping online — even if reading other people’s blogs and information they choose to share on social networking sites is not really snooping. The purist in me feels like you should only know what other people choose to tell you, specifically.
I’m getting really good at being by myself.
I stress bake. Then, I eat almost none of what I prepare.
I am allergic to dogs.
I am going to learn Italian.
I’m currently trying to re-learn French.
I am in the process of learning all of the countries of the world.
I can’t sit still.
I cry any time I think about anything ever happening to my parents.
I can’t wait to have children.
I want to be a successful attorney — I really want to pass the bar exam on my first try.
Sometimes, I feel as if I have to edit my thoughts for my boyfriend. He’s very efficient.
(a few bonus things) I love dams. I am absolutely fascinated with them — especially KY dam.
I don’t know how to swim.
I speak extremely quickly and have difficulty hiding my Southern accent for very long, even in law school.
I have an intense fear of getting old and fat.
I don’t think that alcoholism or obesity are diseases. I am related to both types of persons and believe that it is a question of the degree of willpower that any given person is willing to exercise.

Whatever you are, be a good one. – Abe Lincoln

locusinquo — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 04:40:39 +0000

First, I thought that the year I graduated college would be the biggest year of my life (with a great deal of naivete on my part). However, this year is the year I will

take my very last final exam (excuse the seeming redundancy of that sentence)
buy my last textbook
graduate from law school
take the bar exam
move even farther away from my family and friends to a new life in a new city
take a chance that something very important to me will work very well – or may not work out as well as I currently think that it will
get my very first real life job

I never realized that so many changes would come so quickly. I’m not so sure that I am ready, but I am ready to try.

Starting the year listening to: Bon Iver ~ Blindsided

The examined life

locusinquo — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:14:53 +0000

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being in a house full of my family and friends

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Not having a poker face & not always fighting back.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
passive aggressivity

What is your greatest extravagance?
At this point in my pretty modest existence, my book collection.

What is your current state of mind?

Tired beyond belief

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

spontanaiety

On what occasion do you lie?
When I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings and telling the truth isn’t necessary.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
my boobs

What is the quality you most like in a man?
intelligence and charm .

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Humor.

Which living person do you most admire?
my dad

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Ridiculous

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
my family

When and where were you happiest?
almost any time before I started law school.

Which talent would you most like to have?
to do everything I need to do with time to spare

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would stop caring what anyone thought of me.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
getting into and surviving law school.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
I like myself. I would only want to be me.

Where would you like to live?
somewhere warm and green

What is your most treasured possession?
photographs of my family and friends

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
loneliness.

What is your most marked characteristic?
my facial expressions

Who are your favorite writers?
I like books, not writers.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
the heroine in The Awakening

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
mmmmmm

Who are your heroes in real life?
my dad

What is your greatest regret?
not being a better big sister

How would you like to die?
Quickly.

What is your motto?
Never stop.

“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.”—George Orwell

locusinquo — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 12:02:15 +0000

The American Heritage Dictionary describes “Abstention” as: The act or habit of deliberate self-denial. 2. An abstaining vote or voter.

I think I have decided to abstain. Not from the election, but from any further election coverage. I voted absentee in Kentucky – a place where a Republican victory is a foregone conclusion (at least in most of the races) — notice, no political commentary on my personal vote. I am abstaining from election coverage in the same way that I am abstaining from Halloween candy, at the moment — and not for entirely different reasons.

I cracked a filling in my tooth (a very recent filling) and only realized it in the middle of a fabulous meal. This realization almost brought me to tears. So, to prevent any further pain, and for my own health, I have decided to protect my temporary filling from sugar. It took pain, however, for me to finally make a decision.

In the same way, the liberal media — regardless of your party affiliation — pains me every day. I would like the facts presented to me in a way that allows me to form my own opinion. I don’t remember the last time I heard a news report or interview without some sort of editorial opinion by the reporter. So, again, I have decided to abstain. I can’t watch news coverage that attempts to sway me, convey its own biases, and overall, presents a good argument for the death of true journalism. I don’t want the republican news. I don’t want the democratic news. I want the news. To avoid further pain and to protect myself from a permanent bias against political news, I am going to take a bit of a news vacation until the election is over.

It is never too late

locusinquo — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 01:29:27 +0000

My mother is going back to school. She earned her associate’s degree in business while my sister and I were babies, by going to school at night. My father stayed home with us during the evenings. Now, after 6 months of not working, she has decided to go back to school. I must admit that it freaked me out at first. I had visions of my mom as a non-traditional student with a rolly backpack, sucking up to teachers and irritating college sophomores. However, I guess at 26, I look at it differently.

I want my children to realize that you don’t become someone else when you have children. I am sure that your life will change. I am sure that your priorities will change. However, there are some parts of yourself that you should never lose. Your drive to learn, to grow, and to take care of yourself should never completely disappear.

Political Involvement

locusinquo — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:49:20 +0000

After viewing my congressman’s vote on the bailout (nay), I felt the need to e-mail him an appreciation letter. Then I began to wonder, where I learned the value of political involvement. It wasn’ t until my senior year of college, when I enrolled in an intro-level political science/government course (in need of extra credits). My professor was, and still is, quite the politico. He implored us to read a newspaper or other new source every day. While some may argue that print journalism is dying a slow death, I find it a most tolerable way to digest my news slowly and selectively, when the newspaper is free, of course. Otherwise, the Drudge Report will do nicely. He further encouraged us to write our congressmen, state senators, and even the President, if we felt so moved. I must admit that I was raised in an area of the country that claims to be Democrat territory on paper, but persists in voting republican. It isn’t uncommon for one’s parent to encourage him to register Democrat so that he may vote in the Democratic primary and sacrifice his vote for the overall good of the democratic cause. I know, because my parents encouraged that sort of behavior. Being unable to hide my opinions at the ripe age of 18, I defiantly registered Republican. I also proceeded to waste a vote on Bush during his second time around, my first time at bat.

Aside from these very minor early political lessons, and a few underage trips to the polling booth with my mother, my concern for political affairs was at best bandwagon. Now, as I enter my last year of law school, I realize that it is vital to remain informed.

I’m going to encourage my hypothetical children to vote.

Books you should read

locusinquo — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 19:55:22 +0000

Three Cups of Tea

Of Human Bondage

Fast Food Nation

Status Anxiety

French Women Don’t Get Fat

Tess of the D’Urbervilles

More to come . . .

Preparation

locusinquo — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 19:52:35 +0000

I like preparation better than actually accomplishing anything. I like traveling to a place better than arriving. I work best when I have goals. I like the process. I like the ride. I like the journey. I like progress.

However — I don’t like the end result. I like success, but I never feel like my work is sufficiently complete to declare success. I graduate law school in May. I am not quite sure how to define success after that point. When I pass the bar ? When I find a job I love? When I win my first case? There are too many places that could be stops along the way. I guess I prefer a divide and conquer approach. Accomplish as many things along the way as I possibly can, if it feels like/looks like I’m finished, I’m probably not going to stop anyway. I kind of hope that this is how I die. Still working. Still thinking. Still moving.

What is so much better about the journey than arrival?